My mate Andrew and his fantasies

Meet Andrew,26 years old,a smart guy with a bright future.It's not exactly Einstein but is not an average British either,it is above the medium level of British society.He can easily be a door man at St Pantelimon Hospital in Bucharest,Don't understand me wrong,i love this guy,i really do,is my only British mate,by the way ,is not English is not Scottish is not Irish either,IT IS WELSH.I know there is no difference between them but this is how he wants to be called.We both send each other 20 text messages a day,most of them full of crap staff but this is the fun,to talk non senses.Today i asked him to write a post for my blog and all he said was:"our enemies are innovative and resourceful,and so are we.They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and people and neither do we.who said this?"My answer was Nicolae Iorga and he reply straight away,a bit upset,"NO,Bush"
After this i told him that i need something else,i need a funny story.I was waiting half an hour for this:"When i was in school my balls got twisted and i had to go to hospital,they were sore and tender and lots of when had to touch them,i cried then and i still cry thinking about it.Also,sometimes when i wank and i don't have tissue i turn my sock inside out and wank inside.Wash in sink,put on radiator and then use again.That is me.One time when i was a kid i pissed on my friends front door because i was angry with him.I also finger girl after cooking with red chilli's and her pussy flared up.Went bright red and she cried every time she pissed for a week.I didn't tell her i use chilli's and she was terrified,convinced she had some bad disease."
He is working in a office full of Granny's,and maybe all the crap from above is because of that or maybe is just because of the tea or coffee.
Excuse my post in English but i did it for him.It's my Christmas gift to him.Is got the privilege to be mentioned here,well done Andrew,a huge step forward for you,keep going.